so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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