So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
