All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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