i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
