she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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