I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
