She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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