I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize