i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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