Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
