Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
