we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
