Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize