I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
try to milk me bitch
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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