idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
