Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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