I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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