I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it's like iHOP with fire
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
