I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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