Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Your cock deserves a montage
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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