Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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