she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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