Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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