I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
