Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
