they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
