im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My cat gives me a boner
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
