Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
