we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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