Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
