barbara walters just said penis...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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