am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
