But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
