Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
