Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
