OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Alive.
So much puke
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
