hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
