You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
