absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
