Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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