I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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