I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
