Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
