I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We left the knife in your bed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
