hell yes lets make some ravioli
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
