you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
