You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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