Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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