So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
