I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
