You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Are we still banned from the library?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
