dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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