That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
farters have to be the big spoon...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
