I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
