Nicole vs. Life
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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