you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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